Victor Barden: Music

• MP3 short clip, hi-fi play (broadband)
• MP3 short clip, lo-fi play (modem)

During the summer of 2003 I watched way too much baseball on TV. I think I was watching an Atlanta Braves game when I heard the announcer say that a certain player was “trying to hit a five-run homer,” meaning he was trying too hard. I saw there was a parallel in the spirit, so I set out to write a song about hitting a five-run homer. The next day the chord pattern fell into place, and so did the first two verses and the bridge. I got the third verse later that day, after I fell into a particular lust that has been a thorn in my flesh for many years.
Thanks to Jim Hills for the resonator guitar.

Lord, I know I can get it right;
I just need a little more time.
You gave me a brain, and You gave me a will;
Is using those things such a crime?
There is just one thing that I need to do
To make everything all right,
And then I’ll be perfect in every way
And I can come into Your sight.

I just need a five-run homer,
Yes, a five-run homer.
When I hit a five-run homer, then I’ll be all right.

The bases are loaded, and so are the tenors.
There’s a short right field wall,
And I’m feelin’ strong and ready and willin’.
Come on, pitcher; throw me that ball.
You’d better not put it where I can hit it,
Because that I surely will do.
Then your head will turn, and you’ll say, “Forget it,”
While the ball flies clear to Timbuktu

For a five-run homer,
Yes, a five-run homer.
When I hit a five-run homer, then I’ll be all right.

Although it’s never been done before,
At least not on this mortal plane,
There’s always a first time for everything,
And look at all I would gain.

I swing and I miss, and that’s strike three.
It’s back to the dugout again.
You’d think I would hit it more often than this,
At least one or two times in ten.
But one of these times I’ll get my pitch
And drive it clear out of sight,
And the crowd will go wild with clapping and cheering
As they watch the ball soar through the night

For a five-run homer,
Yes, a five-run homer.
When I hit a five-run homer, then I’ll be all right.

EXPLANATION FOR PEOPLE WHO DON’T KNOW BASEBALL:
The object of the game of baseball is to get a batter/runner legally around the diamond in a counterclockwise direction. At one corner of the diamond is home plate, where the batter stands and tries to hit the ball as the pitcher throws it to him from a mound near the middle of the diamond, and at each of the other corners of the diamond is a base, where a runner may stay if he reaches that base safely. If a batter hits a home run he is entitled to run all the way around the diamond, and he scores a point for his team — but in baseball points are called runs. Any runner who is on base also scores a run when a batter hits a home run. There are three bases besides home plate, so there can be as many as three runners on base at a time; if a batter hits a homer with three runners on base (or in common speech, with the bases loaded), it is called a grand slam home run, and it scores four runs. A five-run homer, therefore, is just like pleasing God in our own strength — impossible.